Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
