Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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