yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
