The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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