He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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