New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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