You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize