Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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