i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
