have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
