this just has baby written all over it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
