do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
