new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
