what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
