Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
