i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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