Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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