i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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