Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize