so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
