so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
