Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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