I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the condom got lost in my hair
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
