think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
