omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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