we're chasing vodka with high fives
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize