I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
