just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
did you get engaged???
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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