The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
