So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Damn victory sex feels great
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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