The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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