What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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