Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
