Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
