Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
