Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
