New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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