You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
