Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
