Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
