"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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