I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize