Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
