But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
