i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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