I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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