But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
