it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize