shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
