Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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