I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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