Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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