just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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