Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
