I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
