That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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