god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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