Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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