That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
