She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
