You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
