i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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