I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize