When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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