I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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