I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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