What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
