We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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