I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
