doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
