there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
