So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
