I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
